This blog was supposed to be a reminder of those moments when I feel all motivated and ready to rock.... however, it is turning out to be a reminder of the times when I hate this. And when I get knocked down. BUT I ALWAYS get back up again, and I ALWAYS will. That is what it's all about.
That 10 lbs I lost, was cheated weight loss. I did the HCG diet. Bad choice on my part because I had my "lady time" for 4 out of 5 weeks STRAIGHT and then didn't do the doo doo for 2 weeks... Dr. said to stop doing the diet and become best friends w/laxatives and water, YAY me......
I COULD have kept that weight off, however... I was so excited about having lost 10 lbs that I figured I could eat whatever because I was skinnier now. HA.... we all know better. Top that off with COMPLETELY slacking on my workout schedule as well.
6+ lbs later, I'm here feeling gross, knocked down AGAIN and discouraged. AGAIN... Last night consisted of me kicking my own trash for getting back to basically where I was. Bloated, tight clothes, irritated at myself, negative, and in the "gave up" mode. Why is it that I am all or nothing.. gung-ho or junk food queen? Neither seems to last too long, but this up and down business is BALONEY. I have to get it together, and remember that it's not about being like so & so that is a workout queen with a killer body and major self discipline. It is about daily choices, taken one at a time and pushing myself to the point of SUCCESS and positive feelings. Those little choices will make a big difference. If I become aware of them, and hold myself accountable for my choices, I truly believe things can change. Cheesy to say but "if it is to be, it's up to me."
I posted a desperate ad on facebook for an early morning workout friend, and now I have a few! This morning my friend Susan and I woke up at 645 and worked out. I am NOT a morning person, and it felt so great to start my day off on the right foot, instead of working out later at night to make up for the crap I ate that day, I worked out early and made good choices because I felt great.
PLEASE PLEASE LESLEE, remember how good that feels, and how crappy you feel right now in your big jeans and remember that you CAN and WILL do this one moment at a time. Even if it is already close to swim suit time and you're not where you want to be.. you've got to start somewhere and NOW is the time.
Peace.
I would totally do the morning thing with you but Jarrod is gone before that time. We could walk every night faithfully if you want!
ReplyDeleteAmen sista! I have gained seven pounds from doing THE EXACT SAME THING! Instead of "all or nothing" we need to think "small and something" that way nothings off limits or too easy to get stuck in the habit of. I'm with you all the way on this messie, YOU can Do IT!!!! I love you and your honesty helps me feel better about where I am right now, I'm sure a lot of us!!!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you found someone to work out with you in the mornings. I really do miss that and working out with you! Please keep it up especially for the "getting larger by the moment Pregnant lady" two doors down. Loose some weight for me and you will thank me:) I'll gladly take your extras and stick them on me just bring them on over after your morning workouts:)
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